Reagan Meredith's Cancer Blog
New Blog
Hey everyone! Sorry for not posting, but I started another blog awhile back and it was hard to keep up two blogs. But I hate I forgot to post the new link! So here it is, please keep in touch with me there! thecancerdocuments (dot) blogspot (dot) com.
Things are going well… had another surgery this past December but it went well. Many things have changed since I posted last… got married, bought a house, and am going back to school. Let’s catch up! Hope everyone is doing well!
Cancer isn't Following My Plan
I am a planner. I make lists to a fault. I have my whole summer mapped out, all of the fun and exciting things I want to do that I have been putting off. The thing I hate most about cancer is that it doesn’t follow my plans. It almost forces me to be spontaneous… this is both a blessing and a curse. I’m trying to see it as a blessing. I need to locate my “positivity” glasses again, I seem to have temporarily misplaced them.
The spot on my left ovary is still a mystery, though I now feel as if I have more direction. My symptoms have altered slightly and I along with my doctors see a different diagnosis (though its still hypothetical at the moment). My symptoms don’t match with an ovarian cyst. They don’t match with Endometriosis. But I do have 11 out of 13 symptoms of ovarian cancer. And since I have Lynch Syndrome as well, I am fairly confident that it is indeed cancer. At the beginning of my exciting summer??? Come on now…
Cancer doesn’t care that I was pumped about attending the First Descents Cancer Camp in August. Or that I have a job. Or that I was hoping to be planning my wedding. Why can’t it come at a better moment? Mid-winter when I have nothing to do? The idea of having cancer doesn’t really get to me so much, and I can even deal well with the surgery and pain, but what I hate is that it stops my life, it puts everything on hold. And the constant surveillance makes it hard to move on and put it behind you. Well, especially when almost every check up you have reveals a new problem.
I had my hormone levels tested recently and I have almost zero progesterone in my body. A normal level for someone my age is anywhere from 300-500… my level is 30. WAY low. So I am looking at starting a natural hormone therapy to up my progesterone level. Hopefully that will help some of my symptoms. I guess I should probably list my symptoms in case others are having the same problems huh?
Abdominal bloating and weight gain (about 15-20lbs), abdominal pain and discomfort, frequent urination and urgency, indigestion, extreme fatigue, vertigo/ dizziness, trouble concentrating, irritability, mood swings, depression/ anxiety.
The irritability, mood swings, and depression have been the most annoying because I am naturally a happy and positive person. It’s been difficult to have to convince myself when I feel depressed that it is just my hormones and I need to push through it. I didn’t think I was supposed to have to deal with this until menopause???
Well as of now I am trying to schedule surgery for sometime over the next couple of weeks. They will remove my left ovary, test it for cancer, and if it comes back positive for cancer cells we will probably do a full hysterectomy during the same surgery. That will obviously be a last minute call that my mom and boyfriend will have to make.
So pray that this goes smoothly. I have full trust in God that whatever is supposed to happen will happen, whether that be good or bad. I am not afraid of the outcome. I am only afraid of the process. And that I am slowly trying to overcome.
Sweetie, I am praying extra hard for you. I know what you mean about cancer not following our plans. I too am a planner and cancer really invaded my plans last year. It caused me to beg for a refund on our vacation we had planned, which the people were very good about refunding us, taking vacation later in the year in between chemo treatments which was exhausting and causing me to miss 9 months of work, so all my clients thought I was off having a baby…..ha ha
Its been just over 6 months since I finished treatment and even though most things are back to normal, I keep getting little scares that cause me to re-plan once again. I have put off booking our vacation this year until right before we are ready to go. I figure maybe we can “trick” cancer…lol
I will pray hard that your surgery goes smoothly and by the Grace of God I will pray you do not have to have a hysterectomy.
hugs
amy
Posted on Hey there – I totally understand what you mean by cancer butting in and messing up plans… I am planning (heh) on starting the graduate program in Spain this summer that I was supposed to start last summer, until my tumor and ovarian cancer was discovered. I know it can’t be a good feeling to think you might have ovarian cancer, but I am glad that you are on top of things. Hang in there!
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